Well yay. Isn't the world a happy place right now.
Actually, it's literally on fire, which means it is really easy for us to catch all the bad vibes and stay there. I had that exact discussion with somebody today - how and where and why can we find joy when everything seems so scary. Do we have a right to feel joy, even tiny bits of it, when we know what is happening out of our bubbles?
Russia-Ukraine. Our COVID malaise. Everything costing more and seeming more complicated. My friends Amy and Karl having to say goodbye to their sick but goodest doggie creature Hank.
The conclusion we came to was this: we have to find something, somewhere, to make us smile. It doesn't have to come with the BIG MEANING. Dumb is good. Weird is good. The place where you find the crumb that provokes a giggle is worthy.
So that is where I want to take you. I have some crumbs making me smile. And it's always polite to share, even crumbs. Let's go.
Buckets and buckets and buckets….
Iowa’s ridiculous sophomore guard Caitlin Clark, aka the Big Ten's women's top player by a mile, needs to be on your TV for all of March - and maybe April.
That is an order.
She is like a fireball player in a video game, totally grooving in turbo mode. She leads the country in points (27.5) and assists (8.3), and honestly, that is an understatement of what she is doing. She is the first woman to lead the nation in points and assists, and only one male player has ever done that (Trae Young, 2017-18 for Oklahoma).
Straight up POY stuff.
Clark isn’t huge, by basketball standards, standing 6-foot. She is fast, smart, has handle, shoots clean and clearly sees the court in a way her teammates only hope to grasp. Guard her tight? She will whip a pass to the post for a bucket. Sag off? She will burn you from 35, 24, or 10. Pick your mode of death, and she will deliver.
I hate when men are used to comparison validate a woman’s athletic talent. She's the next Steph Curry. Nah. Blah blah blah. She is the next Caitlin Clark. NBA players love watching her play, because she is breaking the opponent down hard. The quirky Kevin Durant has been in her fan club for a while, seeing how she changes the game. LeBron James has fanboi’d over her on his insta feed. The aforementioned Young has been dropping compliments too.
The Big Ten women’s tournament starts tomorrow, with Clark and the Hawkeyes popping up on Friday taking on the winner of Northwestern-Minnesota (Godspeed to you both) at 6:30 p.m. Eastern. March is going to be a lovely month for Clark highlights.
BTW, she tore up the 2021 NCAA tournament.
Gritty on TikTok
If you have no idea what I just wrote, it is a sign that A) you are not a Flyers/NHL fan or B) the TikToks have not invaded your brain. (Both answers still acceptable.)
The Flyers bizarre, weird-cool, 7-foot tall lovable freakshow mascot has embraced the absolute idiocy of the app to perfection. I mean, if the Gritty monster throwing it back with other mascots or hurling axes doesn’t make you laugh…you need to start.
Your IQ will not go up, your credit score will not improve, and your BMI will not be lowered by partaking in Gritty. But the goodness will make you smile.
Here are some of Gritty’s greatest hits:
What happens in Vegas, well, you know...
Gather 'round kids, it's time for a real-time economics lesson….
If Ticketmaster crashes (again) tomorrow, oh say, around 3 p.m., let me forecast why: ticket sales to members of BTS’ global fan club will be open for their four Las Vegas concerts at Allegiant Stadium in April. If this sounds vaguely familiar, it is a repeat of what happened last October, when BTS announced four dates in LA over the end of last November/start of December, at an NFL stadium (SoFi), and TM's servers burned up and died under the demand.
Truly, tickets never went on sale to the general public. (The third party/scalper market was no joke. Some epic gross stuff there.) If you are scoring the LA stand at home…210,000 tickets sold and $33 million made in four concerts.
“According to Billboard Boxscore, the 2021 SoFi Stadium run grossed a mammoth $33.3 million with 214,000 tickets sold. Further, it’s the largest gross for a run of shows at a single venue since 2012, when Roger Waters earned $38 million over nine shows at Estadio River Plate in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Even further, it’s the biggest U.S.-based Boxscore in 18 years, and the second-biggest ever in the 30-plus-year history of Billboard Boxscore in North America. Overall, BTS lands the sixth best-grossing engagement in Billboard Boxscore history,” Billboard.com wrote.
I know what you are thinking…Roger Waters? Really? Anyways.
The drama is about to reset. With likely the same results. ARMY have already booked flights and snapped up hotels for the weekends. It’s happiness and excitement, but man, the laws of supply and demand be harsh.
So watch social media tomorrow for the blow by blow - those who are happy they have tickets, and those who missed out because TM died on checkout will be issuing their threats against the monster in many languages. Keyword #sshibalsaekkiya (def NWSF google. But go ahead, learn some new words.)
Your favorite union-organizing, soup-spilling, Starbucks management-trolling ball of fur love must be the Jorts and Jean cats on Twitter. The account is a dizzying display of deep thoughts, encouragment, feline mishaps and politician/CEO trolling. And I love it. Rage on Jorts.
See you Friday.
Open Court publishes on Tuesdays and Fridays, bringing you the stuff we need to talk about with author and sports journalist Joanne C. Gerstner.
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